You’ve got your shit together! Which means you have a dream job, you pay your way, you get that mani, pedi, wax and hair done regularly, you hit the gym, you walk like you own the world and you smell like a wave of freshness BUT you have trouble finding someone who can handle all that awesomeness.
Your relationships fall apart. Your toxic exes keep tryna’ make a comeback into your life. And the one, worth keeping, is nowhere to be seen.
You sure have a line of men hitting on you, your guy friends secretly would like to take a crack at you, you change your Whatsapp profile picture and get a ‘hey’ message from a creepy dude you keep wondering got your number from and the list of life struggles goes on.
It’s not like it’s dry out there but the problem is, you date better guys than those even in your bad dreams. And then, your level of ‘Expectation Vs. Reality’ becomes too damn alarming.
You’re suddenly not so appreciative about anything. You feel like you should have figured out everything in your life by now. Life starts looking slow. You hate your job that you once loved, every word out of your boss’s boss’s mouth makes you look at her/him like they’re a petty kid. Even the ringtones of your co-workers seem annoying. Not just that, you would have days that’ll make you be mad about, why the floor is on the floor.
And on a Friday night, when you’re working late, you only wonder how girls way less awesome than you are having fun (with their average men, of course) and are happier than you right now.
The problems is your standards, sweetheart!
And NO, you don’t need to lower them.
Except, you need to tell these things to yourself probably every day, to be able to appreciate life:
1. There’s no such thing as ‘the right time’, without the right one
I know all your friends are getting married and you don’t even have a guy in sight to finger-bang yourself to sleep. Your former classmates posting those annoying pre-wedding photos shoots (with sign boards n shit) on social media, followed with an even more annoying pregnancy shoot with a ridiculous baby shoe in their hands has got you all confused. But, let me tell you one thing—there’s no such thing as the *right time* if you haven’t found the absolute, absolute right one. You define your right time! Just discard the whole concept altogether to unclench yourself from things that make you doubt your decisions. Just dump it, bury it and cement it.
2. Respond to the ‘oh you’ll find someone’ look in a whole new way
Don’t worry, not everyone’s feeling sorry for you, cos you’re nothing to be sorry about. Some of your friends may just be genuinely concerned about your living in a big house all by yourself. Which is because you worked your ass hard enough to live in a big house and done something right to make people worry about you this way. The bottom line is, maybe you’ll find someone, maybe you won’t but you don’t want that ‘oh, you’ll find someone’ in your life. Just make it clear that your life is awesome with or without someone who’s just an idea at the moment.
3. No, you don’t have to let an ex back into your life because you’re alone
People who’re an item of the past were left there for a reason and just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean it can change who they are. In fact, you’ll just have to go through the same trauma and pain if you let your ex back into your life and after some time, you’re splitsville again, ‘cos that’s likely to happen.
4. You did everything right!
Of course you’re always right and even when you weren’t, you don’t need to tell yourself that! When you’re already doubting everything, the least you’d need is blaming yourself for it.
I’m not saying blame someone else, but blame the timing, the circumstances, the misunderstandings, the rough patches and everything above and beyond but you. When you’re up against so many things all by yourself, you need to tell yourself that you believe in the right in you and it is going to take you places, no questions asked!
5. Not everyone needs to stand you
When you’re as fierce as you are, not everyone’s going to get you. Especially the ‘basic’ community. They wanna trick you into believing that you’ve been too sassy for your own good, but I don’t even need to teach you how to trash that. You probably have trashed that already by now. All I’m saying is, well done and keep moving ahead.